Criticism

  In my past art classes, I would often have to upload my most recent drawing/project onto a website that our whole class would look at and critique.  The whole group would see my drawing and give me feedback on how I could improve it.  Talk about pressure!  I wasn't the worst in class but I was pretty much the most inexperienced, and luckily at BYU people were a little too nice and I didn't have to deal with harsh negative comments.  But that would change as I progressed in the program.  Critiques would quickly change from soft and fluffy to sharp and concise.  Instead of, "I like the texture you used here.  It's nice," I got something more along the lines of, "Your composition is way off.  This tangent draws the focus away from what you are trying to communicate and well... given [this, that, the other], no matter how good anything else is, it's still going to look crappy.  You need to completely rework this."  Ouch.  I worked 12 hours on that 'crap' buddy. Thanks for nothing...

  As an artist, I learned really quick to have a thick skin.  To get better at art, you need to not only learn how to take criticism gracefully, but also how to listen to it, analyze it, and process it.  By processing, I mean you had to figure out if you should make changes based on it, spin it from the negative into something constructive, or to throw it out completely and forget about it.  All of that is important and a great way to handle any criticism I received in regards to my art.  This has become a great skill in handling criticism from other aspects of my life, too.  From weight and health to my political opinions, any criticism I receive is welcomed and processed just as I learned in my studies of art.  I process it just like everything else.  Sometimes I listen, sometimes I spin it, and sometimes I throw it out.  It gives me an opportunity to grow.  It still hurts sometimes because just like an ancient prophet said, "the guilty [takes] the truth to be hard."  And sometimes, I am just really guilty.

  I love the way I handle criticism.  I feel like it is one of my greatest strengths.  However, I forget that not everybody else appreciates criticism as much as I do or even knows how to handle it like I can.
  I recently had an experience where I thought I was posting a positive message and critique about a current issue in society.  I felt great about it and that I was supporting a good cause in my posting and critique of the situation.  Not soon after the posting, I received a quick back lashing from two great friends.  I had apparently offended them with my critique and, to keep a long story short, we were actually all on the same page, but because my critique was so sharp, it came across as negative and offensive.  To sum it up, I had described a social difficulty as a "female problem."  This could easily come across as placing blame rather than coming across as what I meant, which was "the solution starts with the individual woman."  Luckily a friend rushed to my aid and agreed with me but she used words like "the solution" and "empowering the individual."

  I thought a lot about this, not because I was put on the defensive, but it made me think a lot about my personal view.  In my training as an artist, I am always looking to improve.  I don't like beating around the bush and I like clear, concise critique.  Usually an honest and concise critique comes across as brutal and negative, but I realized that to be effective, criticism doesn't have to be negative.  And even more importantly, this topic moves into the personal with the realization that if I critique others sharply and negatively, and if I am my own greatest critic, than how is my attitude affecting my own improvement.

  As individuals, we welcome and revel in validation.  Whether it comes from a stranger or our mother, it always feels good.  But one thing I never do is validate myself.  I almost always default to a critique; a sharp, negative analysis of myself.  This is where the epiphany happened.  For criticism to be effective, it doesn't have to be negative.  A self critique can do a lot more for an individual when it is communicated in a positive manner rather than a brutal one.  I need to make my criticisms of myself more positive.

  I often tell my wife when she vocalizes a negative criticism about herself, "Hey! Stop beating up on my best friend!"  It's become kind of a joke, but it holds a lot of weight.  I would punch a guy in the face if he voiced some of the things my wife says about herself, and she would give a tongue lashing (she is spitfire, and I love it) to any one who said half the stuff I say out loud about myself!

  We need to be more positive with ourselves and others.  In our constant quest for perfection and betterment, we need to build ourselves up, not down.  We need to look at the world in every aspect in a more positive light.  My negativity is a huge stumbling block, and I didn't realize that it was that way until I looked back and realized how negative I was being even when I was trying to be positive.

  Uhg...  I hope you can follow what I am trying to say here but essentially it boils down to this--  Criticism is awesome.  It helps us identify our weaknesses so we can become better people.  But we need to approach criticism in a more positive way.  When we receive criticism, we need to process it in the positive.  When we give it, we need to be positive.  When we look at ourselves, we need to not beat up on ourselves.  You wouldn't tolerate someone beating up your best friend, so why would you tolerate you beating up on yourself?

  Criticism is a wonderful tool, let us wield it like a hammer instead of a sword.  Let's build things up and make them stronger, rather than cut them down and hope they heal.